One of my favorite things to do is learn from homeschool moms that have been in the “trenches” longer than me. My favorite question to ask is “what would you go back and tell yourself if you had the chance?” It always leads to good conversations and I walk away convicted (in a good way) and encouraged. I wanted to take some of these conversations and save them by sharing them on the blog. I asked several veteran homeschool moms I respect if they would be willing to…
- Summarize what led them to homeschooling.
- Share 2 things they would tell their younger selves if they had the chance.
- Share their greatest challenge as a homeschool mom and how they overcame it or are overcoming it.
- Share their favorite read aloud. Of course I would ask this, I love reading aloud!!
They all said “yes!” and thus the Mentoring Mom series was born.
This first installment is from Beverly Parrish. I met her through mutual friends and her son Ben ended up being my husband’s roommate. He (Ben) married one of my dearest friends! Small world! I have long admired Bev for her grace and strength. She is a petite lady but don’t let that fool you. My first thought when I met her was how brave she was. She has so many boys and she takes all their adventures in stride. If you ever meet her, ask about the boa that escaped in her house or the sailing vacations her family regularly takes. Bev speaks at homeschool conventions/events and has lots of wisdom on raising children, especially those with learning struggles or special needs. I hope you enjoy learning from Bev as much as I have. Grab a cup of tea (or coffee) and enjoy!
I’m Beverly Parrish, wife of Chris for 36 years, and mom to seven great kids – six boys and one girl, our special Hannah who has Down Syndrome. Our oldest is 34, and the youngest is 17. We began home schooling in 1990, with our oldest who was 6 and beginning first grade attending a private kindergarten. When that school suddenly lost their lease, we had to start looking into other options. One of those was this fringe, hippie, granola, commune thing called “home schooling,” and just to be fair, we decided to investigate what it was all about. Initially Chris said, ‘no way! It will take the audible voice of God before we home school!” But I was curious about it, so I began reading about the current state of affairs in the public education system. My heart was drawn to the ability through home education to instill our beliefs in our children. Chris on the other hand, was intrigued with the opportunity to pursue academic excellence, but he still wasn’t convinced.
After much prayer, research and attendance at a Gregg Harris Advanced Home Schooling Workshop where Chris likes to say, “God spoke,” we committed to one year of home schooling Ben, our eldest. After that, we would evaluate and then decide whether to continue. Neither set of grandparents was too thrilled about our decision, and we faced fierce opposition from them – so much that we were certain that our own family would turn us in for truancy, believing that they were doing what was best for their grandchildren! It was a very tense time. Year one went well, by God’s grace, and despite continued opposition from family, we’ve been at it ever since!
Over the years, as a result of attending conferences and much reading about home schooling in particular and education in general, we developed goals and were able to succinctly articulate a vision for our family. Those written goals/vision guided our choices through the years concerning parenting, activities, curriculum and focus. But they didn’t keep me from being wound up tight about everything!
If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to be courageous when following God’s leading even when it made us outsiders within our extended family, our culture, and frequently in our own church. Too often I was like a frightened, timid bird, fearful of the outcome. Fear cost me my joy in the process, which meant that my kids were on the receiving end of a stressed out mom. Ladies, may I just tell you that’s not a pretty sight!
I had to learn to let go and trust God to accomplish his purpose in my kids’ lives. One of our family goals was to create life-long learners. Looking back, I realize that what I really meant (in my heart) were life-long ‘book’ learners. (You know, read a lot and make good grades, go to college, get a good job, buy a nice house – all the stuff that culture says means you’ve done it right.) What actually happened was that my sons grew up to be life-long learners of a different sort – men who were unafraid to tackle and try things because they knew they could teach themselves how to do it. They taught themselves all kinds of stuff that Chris and I never even dreamed of! They chose paths for their lives that suited them, rather than being driven by cultural pressure. I am profoundly grateful that God’s plan was bigger than mine. I can only articulate it now, almost 30 years into our home school journey, that the companion to being a life-long learner is a humility that recognizes we might not know as much as we think we know! I can see in my grown sons a humble attitude that willingly acknowledges, “Hmm, I don’t know that…..but I can learn.”
Related to that issue was the battle between choosing the curriculum or methodology that appealed to me and put my fears to rest, over what was clearly more in line with my kids’ needs and natural bent. I’m a book lover, left brainer, sequential thinker, rule follower, and I am forever drawn to words – anywhere! I struggled quite a bit with trying to adjust our home school choices to reflect the reality of my kids’ natures. I mean, what would people say if instead of using their time to diagram sentences I just let them build and play with go-carts made out of used crutches and duct tape?!
We learned to measure our choices against our goals and vision for our family. Chris’ input was invaluable and kept our home school from being ‘my’ thing instead of a family thing. Conquering those fears came down to trusting that God does all things well. Now with 5 kids graduated and living their own lives, I see the results!
Reading aloud was always an important part of our home school day – even through the high school years. It was a big part in facilitating good family relationships, as it created a shared experience between us all. Even as adults, the guys recall their favorites. If I had to choose, I’d pick Cheaper by the Dozen by Gilbreth as the favorite in our home. It’s actually a true story, and not the movie you may know with Steve Martin. The antics of this large family, with their dad and his big and crazy ideas reminded us of us! It’s a tale of a family with fierce devotion to one another and their ‘tribe’ and the love and laughter that held them together. Don’t feel you know the story merely because you’ve seen the movie!
Honestly, even way back when we first began home schooling, there were those reminding us to value our family relationships above all else, and to relax about the other stuff – I could have saved myself a lot of worry had I heeded their counsel.
Feel free to meet me over at www.learnyourway.biz or www.beverlyparrish.com, and let’s visit some more!
I sure do like that lady!